Tuesday, January 22, 2013


3 Years already. Every year on this day I allow myself to reflect, remember & grieve the loss of her. It's not that I don't think of her anymore because I do, but this day just hurts and stings a little more. The whole month of January I probably have her on my mind a little more than usual. I am thankful I don't really have the dreams anymore-well I would really probably call them nightmares-where I lose her all over again. Sometimes what hurts the most is the what ifs. What if I had said or done something different? What if the judge had been more understanding and not believed all their lies. Sigh. But I know...I can't live like that. There have my moments where my mind has wandered and I wonder if maybe just maybe this happened for a reason as sad as that sounds. I always said I can't imagine my life without her and that when she passed away it would be the hardest thing to deal with so maybe somehow some way this was easier. There is a small part of me that wishes I had said goodbye but I quickly dismiss the thought knowing that would have been way to hard. At the beginning it all felt like a bad dream, and I was in shock. Of course it has come to a reality now, but still one of the most heart breaking things I have been through. Some that read this may not know what I am talking about, but I have written about this situation before so I will copy & paste what I have written in the past. I am going to be brave and also include some pics. I had to take them down that day 3 years ago-and sometimes it is too hard to look at them cause I miss her so. 

January 23, 2011
It is sometimes so hard to believe that it has been a whole year since one of the worst days of my life....when I went to court and lost one of my best friends-my wonderful kitty Sneakers who was 12 years old. I had her since high school & she was part of my family. I think about her every day and miss her very much. I hope she is doing well...and wonder if...wonder if things could have turned out different. I lost in court because of people's lies. People I used to call friends...practically like family actually. Hard to believe that someone you trust so much could be possible of stabbing you in the back. People can be so cruel. I love you Sneakers very much & you will always hold a place in my heart. 
Little did I know back then that the very day my heart was broken I would meet not 1 but 2 very special kitties who would change my life. 2 days later they belonged to us....Frisky & Sassy have brought so much joy into my life. They make me smile every day. They cuddle with me...sometimes one or the other or both is my They are in no way replacements for the one I lost but I love them very much & can't believe they have been with me a year. I am so very thankful to have them! This situation has taught me a lot-I definitely live each day to the fullest and am so grateful for what I do have. 

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't & believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

"There are things we don't want to happen, but we have to accept. Things that we don't wanna know but have to learn and people we can't live without but have to let go."

July 7, 2012
I woke up with a heavy heart today, not sure why. My old cat Sneakers was on my mind a lot. I still miss her like crazy. She will always hold a place in my heart. Part of me can't help but wonder how she is-I know the people who took her from me loved her, but she is getting so old...she could have even passed away and I wouldn't know...sigh. Part of me wishes I could go back in time and change a few things and make the outcome different...there are so many what ifs. But I love Frisky & Sassy so very much and can't imagine my life without them. Part of my heart will always hurt, always wonder, always miss her...... My sweet girl, I miss you so much! We had a good 12 years were more than just a cat or a family pet, you were a friend and close to my heart. Tears flow from my eyes as I write this and think of you. I wish things could have been different. I will never forget your adorable face! I love you always!

A few pics of my & my sweet girl

I love you Sneakers! Today I think of you and all the wonderful memories we shared. I remember the little things about you that used to make me smile. You were more than just a cat, you were part of the family and my best friend. Always in my heart!